Michael
Dickinson.
|
|
On Friday
evening I was released from 10 days in Turkish Police custody,
following my arrest for 'insulting the dignity of the higher powers
in Turkey' by publicly displaying a collage of the Turkish Prime
Minister as a dollar-eating dog held on a stars and striped dogleash,
his tail a nuclear missile. After three nights in prison I was
moved to the detention center for illegal aliens on the other
side of the Bosphorus. Addressing me as their 'guest', my movements
were thereafter confined for the next seven days and nights to
a small windowless office where my bed was a row of 3 chairs,
the light never off, music and football matches played at full
volume all night by very loud-voiced Turkish policemen. Sleep
was less than minimal.
Apart from
the office, I was allowed to sit in the corridor/hall in front
of the grey iron wall behind which are detained the male foreigners
(women separated upstairs) caught without the proper official
documents necessary to be allowed in the country. The floor in
there is spread with bodies lying on blankets, almost shoulder
to shoulder. While I was there the population rose to over 500
detainees, with police bringing in new detainees all the time.
Many of those inside already have been confined for many months,
some for over a year, in highly degrading conditions, and the
treatment they receive from the guardians there far from courteous
or helpful. Far from it. In fact, mindless cruelty rules.
During my
time in confinement, apart from little to eat, I had nothing to
read, so I wrote instead in a couple of exercise books I had been
allowed to possess to keep sane. In one I kept a diary and account
of the cruelty I witnessed, and the other I used for doodlings
and drawing stuff I'd memorised.
I also used
the time to write this version of 'The King's New Clothes'. A
guard would sometimes come up and ask what I was writing while
I was still recording the act of violence he had just performed
against a defenseless detainee. "A Children's Play", I'd say,
slipping this identical exercise book over the other, beginning
to revise the drama again, and he'd walk off satisfied. The following
is the result. Hope you might like it. - MD
THE
KING'S NEW CLOTHES
by
Michael Dickinson.
(Written
in Turkish Police Custody - Istanbul 2006)
Narrator
1
We
all have different tastes; especially in clothes;
One
may love a certain style, which yet another loathes.
Narrator
2
This
story concerns a king, obsessed with being in fashion.
Clothing
for him was more than a love -- it bordered on a passion.
Narrator
1
He
was always searching for some new look, and loved to parade about
--
Showing
off in the city square, where his people all turned out.
(Townsfolk
come out singing and dancing. Suggested music: Vogue' by Madonna/'Dedicated
Follower of Fashion' by the Kinks. )
Citizen
1
Here
comes the king in his latest clothes! Doesn't he look a treat!
The
epitome of style and taste! Why, he's good enough to eat!
Citizen
2
Everything
he wears is always a sensation!
What
luck to have a supermodel as ruler of our nation!
King
Thank
you, plebs! I'm glad you admire my latest attire!
You'll
find nothing comparable for sale or for hire.
Chancellor
I
hereby announce, for your monarch's new raiment --
Of
the Public Tax -- an increase in payment!
King
Not
a lot -- and I hope you don't mind --
But
isn't it worth it, to buy me clothes of this kind?
Chancellor
Of
course it is! The people are willing to pay the price!
To
keep you in fashion, and looking so nice!
King
I'm
sure they understand that a king must look his best,
To
display his importance and rank above the rest!
Chancellor
Of
course they do! This outfit is a winner!
I think
the plebs have seen enough. Let's go in for dinner.
(Exit
King and Chancellor.)
Boy
In
my opinion, for what it's worth, the King's new clothes are a
mess!
And
we shouldn't pay more taxes -- but a darned sight less!
Citizen
1
Listen
to the idiot! Who cares what you have to say?
We
respect our monarch, and we're prepared to pay!
Citizen
2
The
boy's a fool, and has been from his birth!
He
doesn't value royalty, or realize what it's worth!
(Exit
Citizens. Two Strangers enter.)
Sly
Greetings,
boy! We're strangers here; and we'd just like to know
Where
we might find employment -- I mean we need some dough.
Fly
We've
just been on a ship, working as sailors;
But
we can do most any job -- such as butchers, cops, or tailors.
Boy
Tailors,
did you say? I might have just the thing!
If
your clothes are camp and tasteless, you could always try the
King!
Sly
The
King? Now, there's a thought! We might just have a try!
But
tell us, what's he like? I mean, what kind of guy?
Boy
To
put it in a nutshell, without telling any lies;
Apart
from nuts on fashion, he thinks he's ultra-wise.
Fly
Interesting
information. Thanks for the advice.
Boy
You're
welcome. Farewell. I have to buy my mum some rice.
(Exit
Boy.)
Sly
Why
did you say we could work as tailors? We've never done such a
thing!
Fly
Don't
worry about that. I have an idea. Let's go see this clever king!
(Exit
Sly and Fly.)
Narrator
1
In
his palace, the King and his man were inspecting the latest styles,
To
find one to suit his taste, they searched through many files.
King
No,
no, no! This shirt's too fussy; and this jacket's not right!
These
trousers are awful! They're baggy and saggy when they ought to
be tight!
Chancellor
Don't
worry your Highness! We'll find something you adore!
But
what's this disturbance? Someone's knocking at the door!
(He
goes and opens it. Sly and Fly enter.)
Sly
(bowing
low)
Salutations,
Majesty! World-famous for your knowledge!
Wise
above all others, without even going to college!
Fly
(bowing)
When
wisdom is mentioned, all think of your name!
Clever,
smart, intelligent -- universal your fame!
King
Thank
you, my friends! All your words are true!
It
goes without saying! But say -- just who are you?
Sly
We
are inventors of the most fabulous cloth,
Which
neither tears nor stains, and is invincible to moth!
Fly
But
far more important -- you won't believe your eyes!
Our
cloth is only visible to those who are truly wise!
King
It
sounds fantastic! For such cloth I'd pay you any fee!
Please
bring it here at once, that I may look and see!
Sly
But
your Majesty, we have the cloth right here!
I hope
that you can see it! Or are we to fear?
King
That
I'm not wise? I can see it, of course! No need to ask twice!
Its
err wonderful. I mean, very nice.
Fly
Nice,
your Majesty? It's the most gorgeous sight ever to be seen.
The
King of France ordered several suits and a gown for his queen.
King
(taking
the air from Sly)
It
is truly lovely! Such colors! Blue, green, pink!
Tell
me, my Chancellor -- what do you think?
Chancellor
Incredible!
Like a rainbow spread out in the skies!
And
how amazing to think -- only seen by the wise!
Sly
That's
right! We are all wise enough to see it sparkling like jewels.
But
the best of it is -- it's invisible to fools!
King
Oh,
it's heavenly! I must have a suit made!
And
then I shall wear it at my next parade!
Fly
(measuring
the king with invisible tape)
From
the people who see you will come gasps and sighs;
And
it will be easy to discern the fools from the wise!
King
Oh,
what a laugh! That would be very funny!
When
can you start? But we haven't talked money?
Sly
Naturally,
a cloth such as this doesn't come cheap.
You'll
have to dig in your pocket, and shall I add, deep?
King
I
don't care! I want it! More than I can say!
Chancellor,
increase the taxes! The people will pay!
Chancellor
As
your Majesty wishes! Follow me, gentlemen, and I'll show you a
room
Where
you can start work at once with your shuttle and loom.
(Sly
and Fly follow the Chancellor. The King claps his hands and giggles
and skips off in the other direction.)
Narrator
2
A
week went by, and the men still had not come out,
Though
food and drink went in, and the King began to doubt.
King
I'm
dying of impatience! Chancellor, go and see how much they've done.
I can't
wait to wear my clothes, and then we'll have some fun!
Narrator
1
The
Chancellor went to the chamber and found the men at rest.
But
they showed him what they'd done, which they boasted as their
best.
(Sly
and Fly pretend to be sewing and cutting with invisible needle
and scissors.)
Sly
This
waistcoat is nearly complete, and then the outfit's made.
We'll be finished
by morning, and expect in cash to be paid.
Fly
Look
at this jacket! Do you like the design?
This
fancy stitchwork is a specialty of mine.
Chancellor
Marvelous!
And the buttons so bright and pink!
Fly
If
you look a little closer, you'll find they're blue, I think.
Chancellor
Oh
yes! Of course they're blue! It's a little dark in here.
Sly
And
what about the collar? Can you see the color clear?
Chancellor
Ah
yes! A lovely shade of turquoise? No -- red!? Or black? Am I seeing
right?
Fly
I'm
sorry, sir, you're wrong. As a matter of fact, it's white.
Chancellor
Oh
dear! I'm discovered! Don't inform the King!
Please
don't say I'm stupid! I'll give you anything!
Sly
All
the cash that's in your wallet just might be enough.
We'll
try to keep it quiet, although it could be tough.
(The
Chancellor hands over his cash and hurries off. Sly and Fly shake
hands and exit chuckling.)
Narrator
2
Next
day the clothes were finished and presented to the King.
He
was so delighted, he almost began to sing.
King
Splendid!
Delightful! I'm overjoyed! Impressed!
What
do you think, Chancellor? Why stand there so depressed?
Chancellor
Glorious.
The patterns. The colours. All shine with a special glow.
Quite
indescribable -- in a way only the wise can know.
Sly
We're
proud you approve of the fruit of our task.
And
before we go -- one last thing we ask.
Fly
And
that's the money -- our agreed upon fee,
For
which we beg on bended knee.
King
(handing
them a bag of money)
Here
it is! And this little extra I add!
You've
made me King of Fashion', and I am more than glad!
Sly
A
man of his word! We couldn't have hoped for less!
Fly
And
now with your permission, we'll help the wise king dress!
King
Go
Chancellor! Tell the people what is to be expected!
If
there are fools amongst them -- they're bound to be detected!
(The
Chancellor hurries out as the King begins to strip, ready to be
dressed in the invisible clothes which Sly and Fly hold ready.)
Narrator
1
The
Chancellor went to the town square to announce the news to the
folk,
Still
thinking himself a fool -- not realizing the joke.
Chancellor
Today
the King will appear in amazing new clothes of a perfect fit and
size --
Which
can only be seen by those who are wise.
Citizen
1
Here
comes the King now! His clothes are a truly beautiful sight!
Look
at the colours! They would light up the night!
Citizen
2
I've
never seen him dressed so smart!
Look
at his Majesty! A living work of art!
(The
King enters and proudly parades around the square in his underwear.
The crowd applauds and sighs in admiration.)
Boy
(loudly)
Are
you all crazy? Do you have brains the size of ants?
The
King's walking around in nothing but his pants!
(Everybody
gasps in shock.)
Citizen
3
The
lad is right! How very rude!
The
king is almost in the nude!
(The
King stops, embarrassed.)
Boy
Is
this some new fashion, current in the West --
To
walk around in public, more than half undressed?
(The
crowd begins to boo and jeer at the King.)
King
Oh
my goodness! How embarrassing! What a disgrace!
Exposed
before my subjects! I'm crimson in the face!
Chancellor
(grabbing
a newspaper)
Quickly!
Use this paper to cover up your shyness!
I'm
afraid the boy is right! You're nearly naked, Highness!
King
(covering
himself with newspaper)
How
could you let this happen? Why didn't you let me know?
Where
are the tailors who made the clothes? We mustn't let them go!
Chancellor
They've
gone already, Majesty. Both have run away.
As
for the clothes -- I could see there were none -- but was too
afraid to say!
King
You're
fired! I'm so ashamed! How can I hold up my head?
This
boy is my only wise subject! He shall have your job instead!
Boy
Thanks
for the offer, Majesty, but I'd really rather not.
I wouldn't
want to work for you -- you vain, conceited clot!
(The
people gasp.)
King
How
dare you speak to me like that! Guards! Arrest this lout!
Guards?!
Do you hear? Must I scream and shout?
Boy
You
can shout all you like -- but they've seen you as you are.
You're
neither wise nor worthy -- I believe you've lost your power.
Citizen
1
The
boy is right! Our king's a fake!
He
does nothing for us, but take, take, take!
Citizen
2
And
we let him do it, to our shame and disgrace!
No
more of this stupid, idle king! Let the boy take his place!
Boy
I
refuse. All power corrupts. But if you really think I'm wise,
You
might just do as I advise.
After
this King -- why bother with a sequel?
Enough
of being subjects! Instead, let's all be equal!
(The
people cheer.)
Narrator
1
And
the people accepted the boy's wise, simple plan --
No
more kings and rulers -- but a brotherhood of Man!
Narrator
2
And
to celebrate the dawning of the happy new age,
They
danced and sang together -- each one a budding sage!
(The
people dance and sing a happy freedom song.)
Note:
Michael Dickinson is an English teacher working in Istanbul, Turkey.
Dickinson did the cover art for two of CounterPunch's books, Dime's
Worth of Difference and Serpents in the Garden, as well as Jeffrey
St. Clair's Grand Theft Pentagon. He can be contacted at http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/yourgallery/artist/details.php?id=499
Arrested In Istanbul
Criminal Collage
Censoring The Carnival Of Chaos
Listening To Lennon In Istanbul
The Madness Of Money
