Wake up and
smell the sex! It's late Spring on the Potomac, and once again
that unmistakable odeur erotique is in the air. So let's dance
around the Maypole, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners:
It's time for Hookergate: Part II!
us who enjoy the incriminating aroma of illicit sex between powerful
political animals and well-heeled, high-priced call-girls might
recall the sizzling bouquet of Hookergate: Part I, when about
a year ago in this same Springy season, currently incarcerated
Republican Congressman and former House Defense Appropriations
Subcommittee Chairman Randall "The Duke" Cunningham, as well as
former CIA Director Porter Goss and his aptly named protégé
Kyle "Dusty" Foggo of Foggy Bottom, all got caught with their
proverbial pants down and their wieners frying on the barbie of
the defense contractor-financed Poker 'n' Prostitutes parties
at the notorious old Watergate Hotel.
sexcapade deserves a sequel, and so this Spring, we roll out another
randy Republican Randall Scandal. This episode stars United States
Deputy Secretary of State Randall L. Tobias, the 65-year-old married
former CEO of Eli Lily (when its stock rose 440 per cent thanks
to Prozac sales).
Last Friday, Randall II resigned, shortly
after confirming to ABC's Brian Ross that he had indeed patronized
the Pamela Martin escort service, owned by the notorious "DC Madame,"
a.k.a. Miz Julia, a.k.a., Deborah Jean Palfrey, former law student
and entrepreneur. Palfrey describes her company as "a high-end
adult fantasy firm which offered legal sexual and erotic services
across the spectrum of adult sexual behavior." The Feds say it
was a call-girl service that dispatched college-educated hotties
to Beltway clients paying some US$300 per hour.
some Repugs are happy that, after the gay humiliations of Senator
Mark Foley, the Reverend Ted Haggard and rumors of Jeff Gannon/Jim
Guckert's multiple White House sleepovers, this scandal involves
some adult women. Nevertheless, opponents of the Bush regime should
also rejoice to see such prototypical hypocrites and warmongers
go down in the scarlet flames of a call-girl scandal.
Julia (Deborah Jean Palfrey)
describes her company as "a high-end
adult fantasy firm which offered
legal sexual and erotic services across
the spectrum of adult sexual behavior."
The Feds say it was a call-girl service...
get into the juicy bits, let me just say that I believe prostitution
should be decriminalized. I think people should have a right to
have sex for love, sex for fun, sex for dinner and a movie, sex
for a part in a movie, sex for yachts and opals (my personal faves)
or sex for cash on the table, if all parties consent to the deal.
I believe that this is such a sacred inalienable
right that it should not simply be "legalized," implying that
the government could change their minds and make it illegal again.
It should be decriminalized so that there is no more criminalization
of selling sex than there is of selling food. Maybe you need a
license or a permit to sell certain kinds of food in certain places,
and the same could go for selling sex. But there's nothing criminal
about opening up a restaurant, nor should there be about opening
also believe that people engaged in all of the above activities
deserve privacy and confidentiality,
especially in the harsh, intolerant climate of modern society.
However, when our elected representatives and public servants
use billions of dollars in the taxpayers' money to pay war profiteers
to badly equip a rotten war, who then, as
a "thank you," provide them with call girls at poker games, such
as seems to have occurred in Hookergate I, all bets are off. These
johns need to be exposed, not because they pay for sex, but because
they spend our tax money on war, then get sex as a kickback.
Now we come
to Hookergate II: Again, I would never "out" individual hookers
or johns. However, since a couple of the guys on Miz Julia's List
have already been revealed by Palfrey, ABC News and, in the case
of Tobias, the john himself, I feel these characters are fair
game for discussion. So, when ABC's Ross called Tobias to ask
him why his number was on Palfrey's phone records, the Deputy
Secretary explained that he had called Pamela Martin "to have
gals come over to the condo to give me a massage."
Randy... Was that Swedish or Shiatzu? Do you really think we believe
you had these $300 an hour "gals" come over to rub your shoulders?
What, without a "happy ending"?
nothing criminal about
opening up a restaurant, nor should
there be about opening a brothel.
on to say there had been "no sex." That's possible (and supports
Palfrey's contention), certainly if you go by the Clintonian definition
of "no sex" which could include anything but penis-in-vagina intercourse,
leaving a potpourri of manual, oral and even anal delights you
could enjoy with Miz Julia's "masseuses." And isn't fellatio really
just a throat massage of your aching joint anyway? Prostate massages
are also very popular these days.
told Ross that he was done with the Pamela Martin "gals" anyway,
and recently had been using another service
"with Central American gals" (all with Green Cards, right Randy?).
He further explained that arranging for the "gals" to come to
the "condo" was "like ordering pizza." Wake up and smell the sex!
It smells like Domino's? Would you like extra cheese with your
sausage, Mr. Deputy Secretary?
Secretary Tobias is just the kind of pathetic, clueless, rude
crude dude that really needs to go to prostitutes, since nonprofessional
women, including, probably, his
own wife, won't put up with his boorish attitude toward sex. And
why should they? You really should pay a woman to tolerate that
kind of talk, not to mention smile and massage you. And yes, you
should be able to pay for it legally. Because even jerks like
Tobias need love, or at least a little sexual release (pizza sex?),
and why shouldn't they get it? That's exactly what prostitutes
are for, to lend (well, rent) a helping hand, mouth or other body
part, for a mutually agreed-upon price.
Tobias is not just any ill-mannered john with a stiff joint in
need of a little "massage." The former Deputy Secretary of State
is the quintessential Tartuffian hypocrite and, not just because
he's married. After all, how do we know he wasn't ordering up
"a couple of hot hookers ? no anchovies" with his wife's blessing?
She may well have been happy to have the old fart's sexual needs
taken care of by Pamela Martin's gals while she went shopping,
played piano and got her own "massages" from the pool boy.
is much more far-reaching and globally destructive than his personal
"infidelity," and it smells awfully like the stench of murderous
mendacity that rises up from the man who appointed him and the
whole stinking gang of thieves and thugs he represents. Before
he was promoted to Deputy Secretary of State, Tobias was appointed
as the first United States Global AIDS Coordinator by President
George W. Bush on July 2, 2003 . Interestingly, this happened
to be the same sunny summer afternoon that Cowboy George goaded
insurgents threatening to attack American soldiers in Iraq to
"bring them on." Sexy, huh?
johns need to be exposed,
not because they pay for sex,
but because they spend our tax money
on war, then get sex as a kickback.
first AIDS Czar, Tobias faithfully promoted the Bush administration's
rigid, irrational "abstinence only" policies, pleasing Bush's
zealously anti-birth control Religious Right supporters. Soon
he was promoted to Director of Foreign Assistance and administrator
of the U.S. Agency for International Development, holding the
rank of Deputy Secretary of State, reporting directly to Secretary
of State Condoleezza Rice.
Before touring African countries for an AIDS program, Tobias said
that his message was "not either 'Be abstinent or here are condoms,
take your pick.' It is a message of 'Be abstinent'... Statistics
show that condoms really have not been very effective."
depends on the meaning of the word "very." A 2003 Centers for
Disease Control study showed that if a latex condom is used correctly
every time you have sex, it is highly effective in providing protection
against HIV. The evidence for this is clearest in studies of couples
in which one person is infected with HIV and the other not. i.e.
"discordant couples". In a study of discordant couples in Europe,
among 123 couples who reported consistent condom use, none of
the uninfected partners became infected.
In contrast, among the 122 couples who used condoms inconsistently,
12 of the uninfected partners became infected. Of course, the
Bushies would probably discount this study since it was done in
the "Old Europe." So does that mean Tobias rode bareback with
the pizza gals? Does it matter? Whether he was having pepperoni
rubbed on his cajones or getting his sausage massaged, it's clear
that Tobias was not practicing what he preached.
he have? He knew that the "abstinence only" message that he preached
throughout his tenure as the Bushite AIDS Czar had been proven
to be spectacularly ineffective. He probably also knew
it was setting large portions of the human race back quite a few
years. Withholding condoms and accurate sex information from people
who badly need it has helped transmit hundreds, if not thousands
of new cases of HIV/AIDS. Tobias might not have been as brutal
a killer as his war criminal bosses, but his sanctimonious policies
were and still are ruthless deathdealers.
up and smell the sex!
It smells like Domino's?
Would you like extra cheese with
your sausage, Mr. Deputy Secretary?
more hypocritical can this Randall Scandal get? Well, Tobias also
introduced a policy requiring all anti-AIDS grant recipients to
take an anti-prostitution "loyalty oath," swearing that they are
firmly opposed to all hookers, call-girls, streetwalkers and really
cute pizza gals with extra sauce. Tobias' moralizing "do as I
say, not as I do" policy has greatly hampered the work of the
many NGOs that work in AIDS prevention and reproductive health
and often provide sex education and health services to prostitutes.
It's not easy to venture into an African village or a South Asian
slum with life-saving sex educational materials for working women,
when everybody knows you have signed a pledge to oppose and eliminate
prostitution in all its earthly forms.
and still is a murderous, benighted, disinformation program. So,
let us rejoice that the hypocrite who operated it for the Bush
Gang has hung himself out to dry, dance around his exposed Maypole
and celebrate Spring!
Awe Me, Baby!
it's too bad it isn't George himself being discovered in flagrante
delicto with former White House correspondent and gay hooker specializing
in softball questions and hardball military fetishes, Jeff Gannon
a.k.a. Jim Guckert who, for still unexplained reasons, received
those multiple overnight White House passes. Now that would have
But the story's
not over, scandal lovers; Miz Julia does have a few other political
wieners to fry. She says she had 10,000 clients contained in lists
which weigh in at "46 pounds of detailed and itemized phone records."
Washington attorney Montgomery Blair Sibley, who is representing
her in a civil asset-forfeiture case that is now on hold because
of the criminal indictment, is already trying to drag DC's most
public john and foot fetishist Dick Morris into the game.
Mr. "Shock & Awe," Harlan Ullman. Palfrey claims he was a
"regular customer" of hers whom she plans to subpoena. Ullman
says "these allegations do not dignify a response."
condoms and accurate
sex information from people who
badly need it has helped transmit
hundreds, if not thousands of new
cases of HIV/AIDS. Tobias might not
have been as brutal a killer as his war
criminal bosses, but his sanctimonious
policies were and still are
It was back
in March of 2003 when Bush was threatening to invade Iraq that
I first heard Ullman's theory of "Shock & Awe." Back then,
I called it "The Bukkake Bombing Crusade," even though I had no
idea that Harlan was patronizing Miz Julia's gals.
Ullman's apocalyptic vision of an enormously destructive über-military
attack is described in breathless, rather pornographic detail
with an emphasis on fetishized dominance and submission, in his
1996 book "Shock & Awe," featuring phrases on the use of "overwhelming
decisive force," "dominant maneuvers" and "spectacular displays
of power" to "render the adversary impotent."
Ullman to be a sort of 21st century Dr. Strangelove on crack,
giddy that his theory was taken up by the Bushies as the plan
to invade Iraq. But Ullman was not completely cracked. Like many
military men, he did not support Bush's invasion, seeing no proof
of Saddam's links to Al Qaeda nor any evidence that he had usable
WMD. Alas, but the Bushies didn't care what Ullman thought. They
just liked his bitchin', snappy-titled theory. It's an old story:
Be careful what you create, lest someone use it for its very worst
The earnest scientists who built the A-bomb may not have foreseen
President Truman actually dropping it on hundreds of thousands
of civilian men, women and children in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
And Ullman may not have envisioned Bush II using his blueprint
for massive destruction as a catchy promo for his bukkake-bombing
crusade perpetrated upon a country that hadn't even threatened
didn't seem to have envisioned being caught with his cruise missile
showing. His response that Palfrey's claim "doesn't dignify a
response" doesn't exactly reassure us with "overwhelming decisive
force." Well, let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
sells just like sex sells,
only its more "serious" because in
our sick society, killing in public
is far more respectable
than fucking in public.
turn out that he just invited the Pamela Martin ladies over to
play Risk. Yeah, pizza, war games and massage in a condo without
a condom. Whatever he actually did, he's busted. And it is a kind
of poetic justice. Ullman's war porn prescription for explosive
disaster is just what that diplomatically dickless Shrub of a
man needed to discharge an American Apocalypse upon the Cradle
Porn for the Mainstream Media
of hooking, didn't the media lapped up Bush's War just like a
fleet of Pamela Martin's educated whores? It was nauseating to
watch them all get down on their perma-pressed knees to suck dumbo
Dubya's military Big Stick in the heady days when the war was
new and the "mission" seemed sorta-kinda "accomplished" despite
those pesky insurgent attacks. It's even more nauseating to watch
the media continue to try to suck it even when Bush can't get
it up anymore. But they can't stop. War is porn for journalists.
War sells just like sex sells, only its more "serious" because
in our sick society, killing in public is far more respectable
than fucking in public.
so, Ullman will
proudly go on TV to discuss the monumentally destructive uses
of "Shock & Awe." But as for the DC Madame's allegations -
which might be embarrassing, but didn't kill anyone - he "won't
dignify them with a response." Well, not until he's subpoenaed.
Susan Block is a sex educator, cultural commentator, host
of The Dr. Susan Block Show and author of The 10 Commandments
of Pleasure. Visit her website at http://www.drsusanblock.com
or visit her brand new bloggamy and post comments at
Send all comments, love letters, hate mail, questions, confessions,
endorsements, enticements and testimonials to her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Read other articles by Dr Susan Block
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